Not my fault :)

People who experienced automobile accidents were asked to explain what happened in a few words on insurance or accident forms. The following quotes were taken from these forms and were eventually published in the Toronto Sun, July 26, 19...

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car.

I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.

I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front.

I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"The customer was reversing his car round a corner. He was concentrating so hard he backed straight into a signpost, denting his car. Fortunately he was in the right place. The signpost was outside a garage and read 'Free estimates for Accident Repairs'."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

Q: "Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?"
A: "Travelled by bus?"

"I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching lorries, and another on the woman behind".

"I was going down the car park ramp when I hit a giant plastic mouse"

"Insured failed to observe end of pier and careened off into Irish Sea."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight!"

"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again."

I found my window wasn’t down when I put my head through it".

I was on my way to the doctors with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.